Rohan Kumar
There are few things which I have observed during my 7 years (and counting) of stay in US:
Disrespecting fellow countrymen: Indians in US carry a sense of smugness and self complacency. You worked hard or were exceptionally lucky to be at such good position but it doesn’t give you right to demean other Indians or other people. They continue to look their fellow countrymen with rude stares in most condescending manner.
Attitude of Indian Americans: I am referring to Indians who came to US in late 80’s or early 90s and are now American citizens . Most have attitude to look down on fresh immigrants as people of lower caste or stature. Some of them have strong anti immigration sentiments as they think desi people might bring more competition. They forget that they were in the same boat 25 or 30 years back and should show some compassion or at least basic human respect towards the new immigrants. Based on personal experience, I remember one instance when we (me and my friend ) were waiting for bus and the bus stop was not sheltered. The temperature was -10 degree Celsius (14 F) and suddenly a random Indian who came here to drop his son started conversation with us. Then we got the notification that bus is delayed by 1 hour. That person said “goodbye” as he was feeling cold and went back to his car. He kept looking back at us while we waited outside for the bus. Finally, a group of Americans called us to join them in their car.
Amway Friendship: In a fast pace place like US, it feels good to strike conversation with random desi people. However, in most cases it ends up becoming an Amway offer or some other scheme they want to sell you. You feel sad that all that compassion and friendliness was just meant for a business proposal. That’s one reason why Indians are wary of Indians who are exceptionally friendly and polite.
Lack of basic etiquette: Even after spending years in US many Indians find it offensive to say sorry or thank you. If someone holds door for you, just say small thanks and also reciprocate it later by holding the door if someone is just behind you.
State based divide : We as Indians stand divided in India among states and our prejudices. During my hostel life in india I saw enough of this Delhi, UP, Punjabi, Bihar, Marathi, Telugu and Tamil divide. However, all of us are just Indians when we leave India but a significant minority still continue this state divide in US.
Ignoring Cultural and Linguistic sensitivities: This is still practiced by significant number of Indian people although it wanes slowly with time. In a group try to discuss in a language that’s common among all the people. If you are in group of 10, don’t switch to your native language because remaining 8 people won’t understand what you are talking about.
Personal hygiene: Americans are very particular and judgemental about personal hygiene. Taking shower daily, regular laundry and an antiperspirant is all that’s needed.
Inquiring about Inmigration status: You have met a new desi few hours back but they suddenly start discussing about you personal life and immigration status. Are you green card holder/ H-1B, where does your PERM or I-140 process stands and how much you earn. All these are personal matters and should not be discussed unless you are really good friend and the other person has sought your recommendation.
Anonymous
There are some things I as an Indian living in the United States don’t like about Indians in the U.S
I come from Mumbai. Dahisar to be precise. I went to College at Nationals in Bandra and then at Thakur . These are by no standards “hi5 Colleges” ( not that it matters) I have been to Goa, Karnataka, Gujrat and Delhi. Just saying I am no elite or hi5 person . However, I am not sure why, but I got a sort of reverse culture shock when I landed in the U.S in a heavily dominated Indian town ( Jersey City). I felt like I just don’t know these people and I was like ‘ Indians can be like this also?” .Even though ( don’t take offense please) I am an Indian from India, I just could not identify with the Indians in Jersey City. The place Journal Square has turned into a desi ghetto and many Indians themselves run away from the place as soon as they get the first opportunity. Indian people are indulging in massive fraud in the rental area. The owner allows 10 people to stay in a house meant for 4 or max 5 people and in exchange gets a free pass and allows apartments with bed bugs, insects, cockroaches, rats to live along with the 8 or 10 who are living in his poorly maintained house.
Our community has destroyed the IT workforce with their penchant to fake cvs and add 7–10 years fake experience and sending unqualified and undeserving candidates to Client locations. I am just too shocked at the level of fraud that is going on in the IT market. I have friends in INDIA who are as shocked and tell me “ yaar, itna jhoot toh India main bolna impossible hain” ( You can’t lie to this level on your resume even in India. You will be caught damnit and the verification process in India is very stringent it seems). Because of such cheaters, as a Indian student , I always feel bad thinking people might look at me as a cheater as well .
A lot of ABD ( I will not say C as some people find it offensive, hence simply ABD- American born Desi) and long setlled/well setlled Indians in America are by far the most condescending and rude people I have met. These people have benefited from India in some form or the other ( Someone became a Doctor in India, Someone became an IIT guy in India, Someone has properties in India off which she is minting money due to rent, someone keeps sending money to NRI bank account and earns interest). Yet what do these people do? They sit and criticize India non stop and make fun of India and Indians all the time. When I go for social gatherings at various uncles and aunts places. A lot these uncle and aunties start India bashing. They will sit for beer and nuts and talk about corruption in India and make broad statements like : “Every Indian is a F*cking cheater”,
India is so dirty “ “ These guys come here and take our jobs , it is so unfair to our kids ‘ ( yeah, you did the same some years ago Uncle. Don’t forget that) , “ I will never send my daughter for a road trip to India with her college buddies, she will be raped “, “ Indians smell”, “ Indians don’t exercise” blah blah . Their stupid ABD kids who know nothing about India also pass their “ expert opinions” as if they were born and raised in India and know India better than someone who has lived there a majority of their life.
My whole point is you made a decision to move to USA for good. Now if India is so bad and so pathetic, why are you getting so upset about it? You should be rather happy that you made the right decision to move a better place and if India is so bad indeed, it is the headache of Indians. Why do you people spend so much time bashing India?.I don’t get it at all. Also a lot of these well settled Indians when they come to India get royal treatment from all of us in India ( NRI and foren craze in India ) but when you visit them in the US, it is a different story all together. A lot of them don’t show you their true colors till you reach their den. Many people get a rude shock when they find out how these “ Amrika dost/relatives” are when they reach the US. When I was in India, I did not meet these kind of people to be honest. I just have a hard time ( maybe it is my fault) understanding desis in the US. A lot of them are very different from Indians in India in the way they think, carry out their work, deal with stuff. Maybe it is a cultural thing. I don’t know.
The last point is that a lot of my fellow desi guys from good families act like they have not seen food in their life and crash into every party at the University ( Pizza beer, undergrad parties, parties of sporting teams, executive gatherings held in the tech centers, sporting events etc). Initially, they do it for a kick. Afterwards it becomes a habit and something like an achievement to show ( “ I got so much food for free” ha!). A couple of my friends even crashed the obituary meeting of an ARTS professor who passed away JUST for the free food. I was like WTF. We are in Computer science and this guy taught dance or painting or something and you had to crash his obituary meeting of all the things?
An incident occurred last year when the TA of a top professor tried grabbing some food from some event and he was told by the undergrad girl and someone who works at the campus activities department “ Sir, this food is not for you. Don’t touch it or try to take it away without our permission” in front of literally 10 other desi and a few local students .There was no need for someone who was relatively comfortable to try and grab a free sub and get insulted like that publicly in front of the same people of who looked up to him. He even knew it was not meant for us, but he told us “ I will miss doing this when I graduate” . He went for the sub and got yelled at .
He was shocked and had probably thought the American crowd will let it slide and not say anything. Red faced, he tried to put it back and they yelled again “ Don’t put the food you have touched again in there. It is okay. Please leave ” A part of me felt bad for him because I always get uncomfortable when such public cringe events occur. It is embarrassing and I don’t like watching people getting embarrassed or humiliated even if it is their fault. No one is going to die by not getting some free food. Just leave it guys. You are here to study and learn.
End of story and rant. I don’t have anything against anyone. I have no bad feelings towards anyone.
Trupti Agarwal
U r right. I have seen NRIs coming to India for good quality hospital treatment in lesser money and still cringing about India. They feel everything is free here and want to bargain for everything, will not even spare the poor fruits/vegetable sellers. And want us to treat them royally.
Prophetic Warrior
Their patriotism is cringe ngl, always ending their replies with Jai Hind, that's like a British saying “Salute to England” after almost everything ,which they never do.
There are few things which I have observed during my 7 years (and counting) of stay in US:
Disrespecting fellow countrymen: Indians in US carry a sense of smugness and self complacency. You worked hard or were exceptionally lucky to be at such good position but it doesn’t give you right to demean other Indians or other people. They continue to look their fellow countrymen with rude stares in most condescending manner.
在我在美國(guó)生活了7年(并且這個(gè)時(shí)間還在繼續(xù)增長(zhǎng))的時(shí)間里,我注意到了以下幾件事情:
不尊重同胞:在美國(guó)的印度人有時(shí)會(huì)表現(xiàn)出一種自視甚高和自我滿足的態(tài)度。你可能通過(guò)辛勤工作或非常幸運(yùn)地獲得了如此好的職位,但這并不意味著你有權(quán)利貶低其他印度人或其他人。他們常常以一種非常傲慢的方式,用無(wú)禮的目光對(duì)待自己的同胞。
印度裔美國(guó)人的態(tài)度:我指的是那些在80年代末或90年代初來(lái)到美國(guó),現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)成為美國(guó)公民的印度人。他們中的許多人對(duì)新移民持有一種居高臨下的態(tài)度,好像新移民屬于更低的社會(huì)階層或地位。有些人對(duì)移民持有強(qiáng)烈的反對(duì)情緒,因?yàn)樗麄儞?dān)心同胞可能會(huì)帶來(lái)更多的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)。他們忘記了25或30年前自己也處于同樣的境地,應(yīng)該對(duì)新移民表現(xiàn)出一些同情或至少表現(xiàn)出基本的人類(lèi)尊重。根據(jù)我的個(gè)人經(jīng)歷,我記得有一次我和一個(gè)朋友在等公交車(chē),而公交車(chē)站沒(méi)有遮蔽。當(dāng)時(shí)的溫度是零下10攝氏度(14華氏度),突然一個(gè)來(lái)送兒子的印度人開(kāi)始和我們交談。然后我們得知公交車(chē)將晚點(diǎn)1小時(shí)。那個(gè)人說(shuō)了“再見(jiàn)”,因?yàn)樗X(jué)得冷,就回到了他的車(chē)?yán)铩N覀冊(cè)谕饷娴裙财?chē)時(shí),他不停地回頭看我們。最后,一群美國(guó)人邀請(qǐng)我們進(jìn)入他們的車(chē)?yán)铩?/b>
安利式友誼:在美國(guó)這樣一個(gè)快節(jié)奏的社會(huì)中,隨便找個(gè)人聊聊天感覺(jué)很好。然而,大多數(shù)時(shí)候,這種交流往往會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)橄蚰阃其N(xiāo)產(chǎn)品或其他某種計(jì)劃。當(dāng)發(fā)現(xiàn)那些表現(xiàn)出的同情和友好只是為了推銷(xiāo)產(chǎn)品時(shí),你會(huì)感到失望。這正是許多印度人對(duì)于那些表現(xiàn)得異常友好和禮貌的同胞保持警惕的原因之一。
State based divide : We as Indians stand divided in India among states and our prejudices. During my hostel life in india I saw enough of this Delhi, UP, Punjabi, Bihar, Marathi, Telugu and Tamil divide. However, all of us are just Indians when we leave India but a significant minority still continue this state divide in US.
缺乏基本禮儀:即使在美國(guó)生活了很多年,許多印度人仍然覺(jué)得說(shuō)“對(duì)不起”或“謝謝”是無(wú)禮的。如果有人為你扶門(mén),你應(yīng)該簡(jiǎn)單地說(shuō)聲“謝謝”,并且在有人緊隨其后時(shí)也這樣做。
基于邦的分裂:我們作為印度人,在印度根據(jù)邦而分裂,我們有偏見(jiàn)。在我的印度宿舍生活中,我在德里、北方邦、旁遮普、比哈爾、馬拉地、泰盧固和泰米爾之間看到了足夠的分裂。然而,當(dāng)我們離開(kāi)印度時(shí),我們都是印度人,但在美國(guó)的一部分人仍然繼續(xù)這種基于邦的分裂。
Personal hygiene: Americans are very particular and judgemental about personal hygiene. Taking shower daily, regular laundry and an antiperspirant is all that’s needed.
忽視文化和語(yǔ)言的敏感性:盡管這種情況隨著時(shí)間的推移逐漸減少,但仍然有相當(dāng)數(shù)量的印度人這樣做。在一群人中,盡量用大家都懂的語(yǔ)言討論。如果你在一個(gè)10人的小組中,不要切換到你的母語(yǔ),因?yàn)槭O碌?個(gè)人可能無(wú)法理解你在說(shuō)什么。
個(gè)人衛(wèi)生問(wèn)題:美國(guó)人對(duì)個(gè)人衛(wèi)生非常挑剔,且以貌取人。每天淋浴,定期洗衣和使用除臭劑是保持良好個(gè)人衛(wèi)生的基本要求。
詢問(wèn)移民狀態(tài):你可能剛剛認(rèn)識(shí)了一個(gè)新的同胞幾個(gè)小時(shí),但他們突然開(kāi)始討論你的個(gè)人生活和移民狀態(tài)。你是否持有綠卡/H-1B簽證,你的勞工證或I-140簽證的進(jìn)程如何,以及你的收入情況。這些都是私人事務(wù),除非你和對(duì)方關(guān)系非常好,并且對(duì)方尋求你的建議,否則不應(yīng)該討論。
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There are some things I as an Indian living in the United States don’t like about Indians in the U.S
I come from Mumbai. Dahisar to be precise. I went to College at Nationals in Bandra and then at Thakur . These are by no standards “hi5 Colleges” ( not that it matters) I have been to Goa, Karnataka, Gujrat and Delhi. Just saying I am no elite or hi5 person . However, I am not sure why, but I got a sort of reverse culture shock when I landed in the U.S in a heavily dominated Indian town ( Jersey City). I felt like I just don’t know these people and I was like ‘ Indians can be like this also?” .Even though ( don’t take offense please) I am an Indian from India, I just could not identify with the Indians in Jersey City. The place Journal Square has turned into a desi ghetto and many Indians themselves run away from the place as soon as they get the first opportunity. Indian people are indulging in massive fraud in the rental area. The owner allows 10 people to stay in a house meant for 4 or max 5 people and in exchange gets a free pass and allows apartments with bed bugs, insects, cockroaches, rats to live along with the 8 or 10 who are living in his poorly maintained house.
作為一個(gè)居住在美國(guó)的印度人,我對(duì)在美國(guó)的某些印度人的行為感到不滿。
我來(lái)自孟買(mǎi),更準(zhǔn)確地說(shuō),來(lái)自達(dá)希薩爾區(qū)。我曾在班德拉的國(guó)家學(xué)院和塔庫(kù)爾學(xué)院上學(xué),這些學(xué)校按任何標(biāo)準(zhǔn)都算不上頂尖(雖然這并不重要)。我游歷過(guò)果阿、卡納塔克、古吉拉特和德里,我想表達(dá)的是,我并非出身顯赫或?qū)儆谏蠈由鐣?huì)。然而,我不明白為什么,當(dāng)我抵達(dá)美國(guó),特別是在印度人眾多的小鎮(zhèn)澤西市時(shí),我感到了一種逆向文化沖擊。我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己并不了解這些人,心中不禁疑惑:"印度人還可以是這樣的嗎?" 即使我是來(lái)自印度的印度人,但我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己無(wú)法與澤西市的印度人產(chǎn)生共鳴。廣場(chǎng)廣場(chǎng)已經(jīng)變成了一個(gè)印度人的聚居區(qū),許多印度人一旦有機(jī)會(huì)就會(huì)逃離這個(gè)地方。在租賃領(lǐng)域,印度人參與了大規(guī)模的欺詐行為。房東為了得到一些便利,竟然允許10個(gè)人擠在一個(gè)原本只適合4到5人居住的房屋內(nèi)。結(jié)果,這個(gè)房屋不僅維護(hù)不善,還常常有床虱、昆蟲(chóng)、蟑螂和老鼠等害蟲(chóng)與8到10名居住者共同生活。
我們社區(qū)的一些行為已經(jīng)嚴(yán)重破壞了IT行業(yè)的人才市場(chǎng),他們傾向于偽造簡(jiǎn)歷,虛構(gòu)7到10年的工作經(jīng)驗(yàn),并將不合格、不應(yīng)得的候選人送到客戶那里。我對(duì)IT行業(yè)中如此普遍的欺詐行為感到非常震驚。我在印度的朋友們同樣感到震驚,他們對(duì)我說(shuō):“哥們,你在印度的簡(jiǎn)歷上撒這么大的謊根本是不可能的。你肯定會(huì)被揭穿的,印度的核實(shí)過(guò)程看起來(lái)非常嚴(yán)格。”因?yàn)檫@些作弊者,作為一位印度學(xué)生,我常常感到不快,因?yàn)閾?dān)心別人也會(huì)把我視為作弊者。
在美國(guó),許多美國(guó)出生的印度人(我這里用ABD來(lái)指代,以避免使用一些可能令人不悅的詞匯)以及那些已經(jīng)在美國(guó)安家立業(yè)、生活得相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)的印度人,是我迄今為止遇到的最傲慢和無(wú)禮的人。這些人以某種形式從印度受益(有人在印度成為醫(yī)生,有人在印度成為印度理工學(xué)院的人,有人在印度擁有房產(chǎn),她因?yàn)樽饨鸲嶅X(qián),有人一直把錢(qián)匯到印度海外移民協(xié)會(huì)的銀行賬戶并賺取利息)。然而,這些人卻常常坐在那里,不停地批評(píng)印度,對(duì)印度和印度人進(jìn)行嘲諷。
當(dāng)我去各種叔叔阿姨的地方參加社交聚會(huì)時(shí)。很多叔叔阿姨開(kāi)始抨擊印度。他們會(huì)坐下來(lái)喝啤酒,吃堅(jiān)果,談?wù)撚《鹊母瘮?,然后籠統(tǒng)地說(shuō):“每個(gè)印度人都是他媽的騙子”。
“印度真是臟亂差”,“這些人來(lái)到這里,搶了我們的工作,這對(duì)我們的孩子太不公平了”(嗯,叔叔,別忘了你多年前也做過(guò)同樣的事),“我絕不會(huì)讓我的女兒和她的大學(xué)朋友們?nèi)ビ《茸择{游,她可能會(huì)遭遇性侵”,“印度人身上有味道”,“印度人不鍛煉”等等。這些對(duì)印度一無(wú)所知的美國(guó)出生的印度人的孩子,也裝出一副“專(zhuān)家”的樣子發(fā)表意見(jiàn),好像他們比那些在印度生活了大部分時(shí)間的人還要了解印度。
我想說(shuō)的是,你既然決定永久性地移民美國(guó),如果印度真的那么糟糕,那么你應(yīng)該慶幸自己做出了正確的選擇,搬到了一個(gè)更好的地方。如果印度確實(shí)如此不堪,那應(yīng)該是印度人自己需要解決的問(wèn)題。你們?yōu)楹我敲炊鄷r(shí)間來(lái)批評(píng)印度呢?我真是搞不懂。而且,很多在美國(guó)安頓下來(lái)的印度人,回到印度時(shí)會(huì)受到我們所有人給予的皇家般的待遇——這是印度對(duì)非居民印度人(NRI)和外國(guó)人的狂熱追捧。但當(dāng)你去美國(guó)拜訪他們時(shí),情況就大相徑庭了。許多人直到真正踏進(jìn)他們的家門(mén),才看清這些人的真面目,對(duì)此感到非常震驚。老實(shí)說(shuō),我在印度時(shí)從未遇到過(guò)這樣的人。我很難理解在美國(guó)的印度人,他們與在印度的印度人在思維方式、工作方法和處理事務(wù)上都有很大的不同。也許這是文化差異造成的,我也說(shuō)不準(zhǔn)。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網(wǎng) http://equalizerredsea.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
最后一點(diǎn)是,我觀察到很多來(lái)自良好家庭背景的同胞表現(xiàn)得仿佛從未見(jiàn)過(guò)食物一樣,在大學(xué)里的各類(lèi)聚會(huì)上都大吃特吃(無(wú)論是比薩和啤酒的派對(duì),本科生的聚會(huì),運(yùn)動(dòng)隊(duì)的派對(duì),技術(shù)中心舉辦的高管聚會(huì),還是體育賽事等)。起初,他們這樣做可能只是為了一時(shí)的快感。但隨后,這變成了一種習(xí)慣,甚至變成了一種值得夸耀的成就(“我免費(fèi)得到了這么多食物”,哈哈?。?。有些朋友甚至為了免費(fèi)食物參加了一位已故文科教授的追悼會(huì),我當(dāng)時(shí)想,臥槽!我們學(xué)計(jì)算機(jī)科學(xué)的,而那位教授教的是舞蹈或繪畫(huà),他們卻去參加他的追悼會(huì)(真是令人難以置信)。
去年發(fā)生了一件事,一位著名教授的助教試圖在一個(gè)活動(dòng)中拿些食物,卻被一名本科生女生和校園活動(dòng)部門(mén)的工作人員當(dāng)眾告知:“先生,這些食物不是為你準(zhǔn)備的。請(qǐng)不要觸碰或未經(jīng)允許就帶走它。”在場(chǎng)的還有大約10位同胞和幾位本地學(xué)生。一個(gè)生活相對(duì)寬裕的人沒(méi)有必要去拿一個(gè)免費(fèi)的三明治,結(jié)果當(dāng)眾受到羞辱。他知道食物不是給我們的,但卻告訴我們:“畢業(yè)時(shí)我會(huì)想念這種小動(dòng)作的?!彼€是去拿了三明治,結(jié)果遭到了斥責(zé)。
End of story and rant. I don’t have anything against anyone. I have no bad feelings towards anyone.
他很震驚,可能以為美國(guó)民眾會(huì)聽(tīng)之任,什么也不說(shuō)。當(dāng)他尷尬地試圖把食物放回去時(shí),他們又喊道:“不要把你碰過(guò)的食物放回去。沒(méi)關(guān)系,請(qǐng)拿走吧?!蔽覟樗械诫y過(guò),因?yàn)楫?dāng)這種公開(kāi)的尷尬事件發(fā)生時(shí),我總是感到不舒服。這是令人尷尬的,我不喜歡看到人們感到尷尬或羞辱,即使這是他們自找的。沒(méi)有人會(huì)因?yàn)榈貌坏矫赓M(fèi)食物而死?;镉?jì)們,別搞這些了。你們?cè)谶@里是為了學(xué)習(xí)和成長(zhǎng)的。
故事和抱怨到此結(jié)束。我對(duì)任何人都沒(méi)有惡意,對(duì)任何人都不會(huì)抱有負(fù)面情緒。
U r right. I have seen NRIs coming to India for good quality hospital treatment in lesser money and still cringing about India. They feel everything is free here and want to bargain for everything, will not even spare the poor fruits/vegetable sellers. And want us to treat them royally.
你說(shuō)得對(duì)。我觀察到有些非居民印度人(NRIs)回到印度,利用較低的費(fèi)用享受高質(zhì)量的醫(yī)療服務(wù),卻仍然對(duì)印度嗤之以鼻。他們認(rèn)為印度的一切都應(yīng)該是廉價(jià)的,以至于對(duì)每一樣?xùn)|西都要討價(jià)還價(jià),甚至包括那些賣(mài)水果和蔬菜的小商販。此外,他們還期待我們以皇室般的禮遇來(lái)對(duì)待他們。
Their patriotism is cringe ngl, always ending their replies with Jai Hind, that's like a British saying “Salute to England” after almost everything ,which they never do.
他們的愛(ài)國(guó)情懷實(shí)在讓人難以接受,總是以“印度萬(wàn)歲”作為回復(fù)的結(jié)束語(yǔ)。這就好比英國(guó)人每說(shuō)一句話都要加上“向英格蘭致敬”,但實(shí)際上他們從不這么做。
I have seen in Germany how Indians would try to eat all the free food .
我在德國(guó)親眼見(jiàn)過(guò),印度人會(huì)盡可能地吃光所有的免費(fèi)食物。